What do you want from me? Have you ever felt this way about an ex? I sure have, and I want to talk about six reasons why do we keep going back to each other? I mean, there are beautiful things about you.
But why do they keep coming back. I want to talk as regards here are neurological systems in your body. But don’t worry; I’m not going to make it any complicated. Still, I want to stress here that I am simplifying things.
This is not exactly how your body works. I think it’s essential to understand how your bodies work and how your ex’s body might influence them to keep returning to you.
Here I Mentioned Nicely Why Do We Keep Going Back To Each Other?
1. I always like to go back to our emotions in neurological systems of our feelings in our body. Because those are really what motivate us, and we can override them. Our thinking can take control. Generally, we come from our emotions. So let’s talk about them. When it comes to your ex returning to you.
The apparent system is the panic in the grief system. We have an intimate relationship with, and it’s called the panic and grief system. We experience it when we lose somebody who’s close to us. Even if we made a choice, if your ex was the one who broke up with you and chose to do that.
They still might feel panic inside their bodies. It’s natural to feel panic when we’re losing somebody. If you’ve ever experienced panic, and we all have. You know it’s very uncomfortable, we like to sit. It motivates us very quickly to do something about it, try to shut it down or solve a problem.
Specifically, the system is designed to make us go back to the last person. We were with you known it’s something that forms when we’re children. It’s how we relate to our parents; just like basically putting it out there. We freaked out what our parents leave us when we’re children.
We’re helpless and dependent, and we need them. We still relate to other people the same way we’re a social species. So during this panic phase of panic and grief, your ex may feel uncomfortable with this feeling of being alone and not knowing what to do and thinking about the way.
That you used to be together, and so they may be trying to get you to come back to them and get close to them. Maybe they keep returning why they text you by this show up at your door unannounced when you see the mountain places. You would be there.
That kind of a thing could be their panic and grief system that’s activating and telling them to get them back. Don’t be alone, and this might be a good time to point out that all of these systems are probably activating in your body and some capacity. Even if you’re angry you hate you e probably part of the reason.
2. When you’re motivated to keep thinking about your ex in the first place and why you keep getting angry. Your panic system is coming on alright, so that’s number one; number two is the seeking system in your body. I should mention all of these systems are pretty much wired together in the subway.
They can all influence each other, but especially the seeking system is the one that is hooked into all the other systems of your body. It does what it sounds like it makes you seek things out. It makes you if you’ve heard of the brain’s reward center or the reward system.
That’s basically what this is. It makes you want to get things that have made you feel good in the past, so even if your ex has told you that they hate you, even if they’ve done something to demonstrate. That they hate you, as I pointed out with panic, it may look like they hate you, but their body might be telling them like you need to stay.
In touch with this person, this system has been implicated in addiction a little bit because this was somebody who made you feel good. So it’s not that different when somebody loses us, and we go seeking them for that reward again that perhaps we’re experiencing some withdrawal at the end of a relationship.
Now I’m also simplifying things here. I want to clarify that addiction is very different from losing somebody at the end of a relationship. Still, the activated system is similar, even you might have these feeling by yourself or maybe feeling depressed the grief part of the panic, and grief system and feeling like you.
It would help if you did something about it and you’re motivated to find your ex or your ex is motivated to see you try to feel better. That’s where they felt good in the past. Even if they don’t like you, that system is still activating. The body doesn’t care.
3. Speaking of care, that’s the third reason why they may always be coming back to you because of the care system you. I’ve heard to us referred to with the oxytocin and stuff like that it’s just your general bonding system again.
I’m oversimplifying here but generally when we think of the oxytocin system. We’re talking about bonding with somebody feeling right around somebody having that feeling of confidence and feeling loved. That feeling, of course, can pull us towards other people.
They want to be close to other people, and they may want to get close again to you. That’s loving confidence feeling that is awesome. I know you, and you know that because you love that feeling too. We all love that feeling. That could be what’s motivating your ex to try to turn and get that feeling back.
4. The fourth system is the lust system. I probably don’t need to go into too much detail, but this is the system that kicks on in adolescence for most of us, and it motivates us to try to get close together, and this is the one that when we talk about intimacy.
We’re talking about closeness and feeling good and confident with somebody. But unlike the care system, this is a particular kind of intimacy. It can get compelling, and as I mentioned, it’s linked in with the other system. You put lust and care and seek motivator some of these other things together, which could be why your ex is always coming back to you.
5. The fifth reason and the fifth system is not a factor for everybody and probably not even for most people, but it’s possible. It motivated me to try to get back together with my ex, which would be fear. Fear is that system that kicks on when we feel panicked when we feel like our life is threatened.
It brings on that fight or flight system you’ve probably heard about before fear. Even responsible for some of the anger you might get from your ex. Still, if they are the flight’s type of person, at least in this instance, they’re moving towards flight.
They may be trying to get away from the fear of being alone and get towards you. The fear system and the seeking system may be causing them to try to get back to you for that feeling of safety that the care system gives them now.
No, this is a little bit much. There are all these different systems in our body, but they just kind like naturally activate. It’s not like somebody’s thinking about them. You know these are only our emotions. These are how they arise. It is just the way that we feel about things.
These things can motivate your ex to feel like they need to get back to you and get back into a relationship. Even it’s not a relationship, just a friendship; they may only be seeking out closeness to you because that’s what their emotions are telling them. You might be feeling a little bit about yourself, but feelings are not the only things in our bodies that motivate us.
These are five reasons, or five systems is the best way to go back to each other. I have tried to understand very well and clearly by these six reasons, why do we keep going back to each other? If you have any quires about this post, just leave a comment below.